Too Many Cats?

Cats are becoming increasingly popular as pets these days, and a big question is, how many cats should a family have? For some people, one is more than enough; others have half a dozen or more. Here are some sure-fire ways to know when you've reached your limit.

Cat House by Megan Morris

You know you have too many cats when:

• Your annual cat food bill is more than the combined Gross National Product of Liechtenstein, Andorra, and San Marino.
• Your last three cats are named Puss, Kitty-cat, and Hey You.
• You and your spouse are sleeping on the floor because there's no more room in the bed.
• The cleaning lady at the vet's office calls you by your first name.
• All your windowsills are occupied.
• Your neighbors forget your last name and start referring to you as "you know, the cat people".
• You have to change the vacuum cleaner bags every week.
• You're running out of corners to put litter boxes in.
• Even your coffee table has a slip cover.
• The most important crop in your garden every year is catnip.
• You can't remember what a house plant looks like.
• Flea collars smell good to you.
• You actually understand what your cats are saying.
• More than half your mail comes from Purina and Friskies.
• Every year you get a personally autographed Christmas card from Morris.
• Your cat door has been replaced three times.
• For Mothers Day last year the kids pooled their money and bought you an electric cat brush.
• You thought it was the perfect gift.

Copyright 1998

About the Author: Kathie Freeman is the author of Catwalk, a Feline Odyssey, and a long-time cat person who has been owned by as many as 13 cats at once, simultaneously, and at the same time. For more of her articles and short stories visit Kathie's Stories and Tails at http://home.att.net/~kathiefreeman/

Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=9508&ca=Pets

Pet Rules

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Uh, Mom .... About These Rules by Jay Atwood

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college. And finally...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Author Resource: Author Unknown

The Kitten Who Could Write

One day, a man was on his way home from work when he saw a stray kitten walking beside the road. His 9 year old daughter had always been bugging him for a cat, so he figured it was about time to get one. He stopped, opened the door, and picked up the kitten, who immediately began nuzzling and purring loudly. The daughter squealed with delight when her father brought the kitten in the house, and she took the kitten, ran to her room and began playing with the kitten.

A week later, the man was doing work on his computer, when he looked in on his daughter and the kitten. The daughter was coloring in her books and the kitten was batting at the moving pen. The man chuckled warmly to himself, then a thought came to mind, "What a great idea it would be if I could teach the kitten to write!" Later that night, after the daughter went to bed, the kitten came into the office, jumped up on the desk and began batting at the pens scattered about the desktop. The man thought, "Hmm, there may be something to this idea after all." He placed a pen between the kitten's paws and watched, and the kitten simply sniffed at the pen, turned its nose up at it, and walked away.

The next night, the daughter was in her room again coloring in her books with the kitten playing with the tip of the pens. The daughter left the room to go to the kitchen for some cookies, and the man went into the room and once again placed the pen between the kitten's paws. Once again, the kitten sniffed the pen, then turned its nose up and walked away.

A few nights later, the father was working at the computer while the daughter lay on the floor of her room coloring once more in her books. The daughter left the room, and the man watched with delight as the kitten picked up a pink pen between its paws and began scribbling circles on the paper. Later that night, the kitten jumped up on the desk, and the man placed a pen between the kitten's paws, but the kitten simply sniffed at the pen, turned its nose up, and walked away.

The next night, the man looked in on his daughter and the kitten, and the kitten was once more scribbling circles with the pink pen. After the daughter went to bed, the kitten once more jumped up on the desk, and the man placed a pen between the kitten's paws. The kitten sniffed at the pen, then watched as it fell to the floor. The man rubbed his chin in thought, then went into his daughter's room and retrieved the pink pen. To the man's delight, the kitten laid down on the desk and began scribbling circles on the paper with the pink pen. The man took the pink pen and gave the kitten a blue pen. The kitten simply let the blue pen fall to the floor. The man tried a black pen, a red pen, a green pen, even a purple pen, and the kitten simply would not scribble with anything but the pink pen.

The Kitty Author by Matthew C. Wright

So the man began working with the kitten and the its pink pen. Within a week the kitten and its pink pen were forming letters. Within the month, the kitten and its pink pen were forming words. In a matter of two or three months, the kitten and its pink pen were forming sentences, then paragraphs, then complete essays. Within the space of one year, the kitten and its pink pen even finished a full length book. The man was so delighted over the achievements of the kitten and its pink pen, he sent the book in to be published. Bet you can't guess what name the kitten published its book under? Oh, come on, now! You know this one…It's…It's, Wait for it…… It's…….The Pink Penther!

About the Author
Written by Dean Boismier
Hello friends. I have always been somewhat of an open minded and "out there" kind of person. I like to look at things from, let's say, unconventional points of views. A lot of things can be learned and discovered if you just apply "outside the box" thinking. I am not afraid of a little controversy, I welcome it. My favorite thing to do is make connections that none would consider. Name any two objects, concepts, or other aspects, the more unlikely the better, and I will find a way to connect them. Go ahead, try me. I dare ya!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/non-fiction-articles/the-kitten-who-could-write-2324177.html